![]() Kids love Disney characters which will help them get past how convoluted the story is and how poorly the controls have aged. The game will literally condition your kid to like it. The game tells you to push a button so you press the button and get rewarded with a hyperviolent animation. No more remembering what a button does or feeling immersed in a fantastical world. This is an important game because it popularized QTE’s, finally perfecting gameplay. Actually, it makes it better than all the other video games ever made. That fact alone makes this game better than all the other Suikoden games. One of this game’s playable characters is a cute little Shiba Inu who leads an elite all-dog military squad. Eventually, your kid will be crushed under a mountain of debt, preparing them for the real-life mountain of debt that will someday crush them. Every mission charges you for the ammo you use and damage to your mech, meaning even successful missions might lose you money. Armored Core 2Īrmored Core is billed as a mech combat franchise but early games wer e actually about something much more important: accounting. You can really make this project multi-generational with Metal Gear Solid 3 because let’s be honest you’re gonna have to get your dad to explain all the references to The Great Escape and David Bowie lyrics. This game about a narcissistic king sending his son to mindlessly collect stuff in order to restore things to how they used to be is strangely appealing to you. On the other hand, the level is a lot less fun once you realize Boyd Cooper was definitely at the capital on January 6th. On one hand, the game’s warning about conspiracy theories is more relevant than ever. It’s going to be hard to tell if The Milkman Conspiracy has aged well or not. Then Shadow of the Colossus broke the mold by being about killing giant monsters with a sword and then feeling bad about it. ![]() Shadow of the Colossusīack in the 2000’s games were all about mindlessly killing giant monsters with swords. Remember, forced nostalgia isn’t about “the greats” it’s about the ones you kinda sorta remember. ![]() There are approximately a thousand pretty good JRPGs on the PS2 and Rogue Galaxy is the one you got for your 12th birthday making it the best one. After skipping out on his seminal work don’t you owe it to James Gandolfini to make your kid suffer through his only video game credit? 9. You’ve never gotten around the watching The Sopranos but you did buy this game for $2 at a garage sale in 2010. How else will future generations know how cool the trench coat over bondage gear look was? 8. It’s crucial to preserve this aesthetic for future generations now that Hot Topic just sells anime t-shirts. Make sure your kid is too terrified of sex to ever ask about it by making them play this psychosexual horror masterpiece. Sex is weird and uncomfortable to talk about. You don’t want to raise the one furry at the convention who doesn’t know Carmalilta Fox by sight. It’s important to cover your bases and hit the classics like this game and Disney’s Robin Hood just in case. You need to accept that statistically there’s a good chance your kid will be a furry. But hey, at least the ending will let you know if your kid’s going to cry at your funeral or not. It might be hard to ignore the parallels between yourself and Jecht when you’re forcing your kid to play hours of blitzball and criticizing their skill at it. Have fun explaining to your kid that you’re making them play this because of how hot the Capoeira girl is. Then you’ll suddenly realize you were just really horny for that character. You won’t remember why this was your favorite Tekken until you see Christie. At least that’s what you can tell your kid instead of having a difficult conversation about systemic sexism. Hillary Clinton tried to take this game down and that’s why she lost the 2016 election. Those of us raised in the harsh dungeons of Dark Cloud are just grateful we don’t have to manage Link’s hydration. Kids today cry about weapon durability in Zelda because they’ve been coddled by modern games. In order to make up for this lapse in generational awareness we now present the 50 PS2 games millennial parents should make their children play. All true millennials grew up on the greatest console of all time: Sony’s Play Station 2. Obviously, that article was written by a clueless boomer who was probably born in the 80’s or something. Hard Drive recently published a list of PS1 games for millennial parents to force on their children, implying we millennials grew up in the 32-bit era.
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